Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
