I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
