Christians are straight up FREAKS
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
