hotel room ftw
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
