dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
