you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
