Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
