Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
