Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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