I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
