Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
