What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
