you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
