thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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