My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
