Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
