Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
