I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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