ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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