the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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