Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
