I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
