It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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