you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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