Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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