Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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