I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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