Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
