Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
