And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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