Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
