my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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