oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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