i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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