I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
