If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
