So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
