Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
