I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
