so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
