awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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