its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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