The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
