I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
