I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
