$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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