they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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