STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
