Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
