careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
