i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
